Staring Out The Window One Shot
by Jazz Left
Summary: This is where loving Edward had gotten me. I was shut in a nuthouse, a madhouse. I was shut in a loony bin, a happy farm. I was shut in a laughing academy, a rubber room. I was shut in a mental institution, a psycho ward. I was shut in an asylum. OOC ExB


**Author Note: **Hi! This is a **one-shot** about Bella becoming a bit of a crazy-case after Edward leaves in_ New Moon_. She _never_ became friends with Jacob, she _never_ jumped off the cliff, she _never_ went to Italy and Alice _never_ came. I don't think I've come across a story like this one. So I hope you don't mind if this Edward-leaving-and-Bella-didn't-jump-off-cliff story is too unoriginal for you. :P Sooooo, basically Bella is in a bit of a pickle at this moment in the story. Read it if you want.

I wrote this a long long time ago and it had just been sitting there in my documents folder collecting pixel-dust. A couple days ago when I was cleaning out all the stupid unnecessary junk in my documents folder I found it again. I sort of like it so I have decided to post it. :D

The song for this one-shot is _Ameno _by_ Era_(I don't really know why, I was just reading over this chapter when this song started playing on the radio, awesome huh? I like it but it ain't really my style) and _Change Of Heart_ by _Insomnium_('cause it's _awesome_!).

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Twilight or any of the characters mentioned in this story. I do not own any of the songs or bands either. Nor do I own the lyrics. I do not own any brand names in this story. I do not own any movies or books mentioned.

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**Staring Out The Window**

_Ameno ameno dore ameno dori me ameno dori me_

_Ameno dom dori me reo ameno dori me ameno dori me dori me am_

_Ameno _by_ Era_

_Disclose disclose the silence disclose take me disclose take me_

_Disclose soldier take me away disclose take me disclose take me take me now _

_Ameno_ by _Era(english translation)_

I stared out the window of my room, I wasn't really looking at the scenery but I was still well aware of the depressing gray rain pouring outside. Even after a year and a half of watching rain, looking at rain, smelling rain, hearing rain and even weeping rain, day in and day out, it was still outrageously dreary. I wanted to get out of there and move back to Phoenix. But I couldn't. I was in the rainiest state of the country because of Edward. All because of him.

Ah, Edward. Even though he left me and even though he said the most terrible and hurtful words that I had ever heard directed towards me. I still loved him … so, _so_ much. I secretly hoped with all the fractured and broken pieces of my shattered heart that Edward would come back to me and save me from perpetual rain and depression. He always saved me. He would come back. He had to.

No. He wouldn't come back, I argued with myself. Edward left me. _He left me_. The motherfucking son of a gun just upped and left saying that I was useless, that I was a distraction. I wasn't useless. If he didn't want me then fine! He could go suck Emmett for all I cared!

_No! You care. _We_ care, you know we do. We love him._ I pleaded to myself.

_Nuh-uh buddy, not anymore._ I sighed. Here I was arguing with myself _again_. Maybe I was crazy.

Charlie said I was and so did Jacob. I had seen very little of them these past few months. They both came by to check on me once and a while. They always barged into my room wearing big smiles and joyous expressions because they were always hoping that I would be better the next time they came in. But their expressions always instantly changed into remorse when they saw me curled up in a fetal position rocking back and forth steadily somewhere in my big white object less room. They tried to heal me. They did, honest. I just couldn't be healed.

I didn't understand why they came , they knew I was broken and they knew that that day in the forest the real me had died. I mean if they knew, which they did, why did they come here just for more disappointment. It's not like they had any responsibilities toward me. Well maybe Charlie did, I allowed, but Jacob was just a piece of irritating gum stuck to my shoe.

He was annoying as fuck and always tried touching my shoulder or sweeping my hair behind my ear. He knew I didn't like it yet he insisted on it every stinkin' time he came to visit me in my room. I usually hissed at him or glared at him with all the hatred I could muster. But obviously he got turned on or something and insisted on more contact than even Alice—I cringed a little at her name—would be comfortable with.

I couldn't even yell at him since I had stopped talking a couple months after coming here. Now I just resorted to glaring, hissing and growling at people when I wanted them to stop doing something but if they weren't bothering me I ignored them. I was lost in my own little world with me one and me two. And a couple other me-s of course.

I felt a little warmness on my hand and reflexively I looked down. A small ray of sunshine was shining down on me. And like a small growing bright flame, hope started to saturate my body. I hoped for something that would allow me to escape this god forsaken place. But hope and sunshine weren't going to get me out of here. I needed to do something and stand up for myself. _It's about fucking time you realized that!_

I stood up quickly and swayed a little on my shaky legs. But then I remembered where I was, where I always would be. There was no way out and even if there was I wouldn't be able to reach the exit. I was weak and medicated. I couldn't leave. With that thought I crumbled back down and smacked my head against the sanitarium's plastic safety window in frustration.

This is where loving Edward had gotten me.

I was shut in a nuthouse, a madhouse.

I was shut in a loony bin, a happy farm.

I was shut in a laughing academy, a rubber room.

I was shut in a mental institution, a psycho ward.

I was shut in an asylum.

I took happy pills every day and every day I would be locked up in this big white room—the typical crazy-case cushioned white room—unless I required the use of a restroom of course.

I still remembered the day I had been brought here. Th images flashed in my mind so vividly like it had all happened just yesterday.

I had been sitting on my bed sulking in silence being very careful not to let anyone hear me sobbing. I just buried myself in my sorrow not doing anything. It was peaceful. But then _they_ had burst in through my doors like they owned the place. The men in white had come. There were six of them including one standing a safe distance away from me holding a white briefcase. They talked to me quietly willing me to respond to them.

"Come on Bella, we know you're in there." One of them had said to me soothingly. He had bright green eyes and blond hair. I wanted to punch him for intruding on my sulking but I just ignored them and kept staring straight ahead of me.

Another one of them who had black hair and eyes tried to talk me out of being "ridiculous". "Come on Isabella, stop being ridiculous! You're hurting everyone around you! Snap out of it!" At this I actually turned my head to them. I guess they were hoping for a different reaction than the one I gave them.

All I gave them was a dull blank stare. I saw what they were doing too late, they were already too close to me for me to do anything about it, they tried to pick me up and drag me downstairs. But I fought them. I fought them for all I was worth, albeit that was not much it _was_ enough to break two noses, one ankle, a wrist, and four of their ribs ribs. The one with the briefcase pulled out a syringe while I wasn't looking and plunged it into the skin of my pale neck just before I could start attacking the black haired man. I could do nothing but move my eyes and jaw. I realized that they had sedated me and for the first time in a very long while I felt fear. I let out loud screams as they strapped me into their big white van.

Then they took me away. They took me away from my safe house. I had begged Charlie not to let them take me but he had just stared grimly at me. I screamed at him and cursed him for letting them do this to me, for letting them take me when all I wanted to do was be alone in my misery. After that his face was so sad I could almost feel his sadness myself but I didn't care about that, I just didn't want to be taken away. I fought as much as I could the whole way here. They had to restrain me by bounding my hands and feet to the seat so tight you would think they were kidnapping me. Which, logically speaking, they were.

When I had arrived here they had strapped me in a metal wheelchair and strolled me into a big white office. The office had a wall covered with university diplomas and another covered in pictures of some smiling patients. There was one wall that brought back painful reminders of the Cullens because it was glass, when I noticed it faced out toward the dull Washington countryside and not a beautiful forest I felt a bit relieved. The last wall was bare except for a tall dark skinned man who was leaning against it casually.

When he saw me his face lit up and he took seat behind a gargantuan ebony desk. He had smiled brilliantly at me. "Welcome! Isabella we had been waiting for you to arrive." he had said in a sickly sweet voice he probably used to apeace some ignorant people.

"Fuck you." I stated loudly and viciously. This idiot surely didn't expect that I would just love the way they had stolen me away from my house.

His jaw dropped and he turned to the man behind me with a shocked expression. "Is this Isabella Swan?"

"Yes." the man behind me had said surely. Of course I was Isabella Swan, I scowled.

"Are you sure?" he insisted as if I wasn't even there. The scowl on my face deepened.

I rattled my shackles violently. "Of course I'm Isabella Swan you idiot! Who are you?!" I demanded angrily.

His eyes shot toward me. "I am Doctor Marshall Westfall. I am the head doctor here at Shelly Young Sanatorium." he explained slowly as if I was mentally deficient.

"I don't need to be told like a child!" I screamed trying to cover up the shock I felt at knowing I was locked in an asylum. I was trapped. "Why am I here?" I whispered.

And then the explanation began.

_The fall split the one in two_

_Under the pouring rain_

_Dressed them both in loneliness_

_And led to their separate ways_

_Change Of Heart_ by _Insomnium

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**Author Note: **So? Did ya hate it? I liked it. It's kind of weird and kind of, er, just crazy. It makes me feel like I'm not alone in my crazyness :D Hm, maybe it was kind of boring … Please review and tell me what you thought about it.

Um, I _was_ sort of wondering if you guys wanted me to extend this one-shot into a full blown multi-chapter story. I just got this fun plot line in my head but I'm not sure if I should pursue it. Once again please review and tell me what you think. :D

CLICK


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